I am right here waiting for you//

2005-07-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

Haiz...ever since school open...not a single thing has been goin my way...getting miserably sad nowadays...in my mind..i realli wanna study...but yet i cant stand the sight of books...i realli dont know what the hell i want in life...on one hand i want to take over my dad's business...on the other hand..i wanna be a racer...and yet i am not taking any actions to make sure that i have a good future...sometimes..i just wish...to wear my old glasses...have back my center parting hair....and just hack care abt it...and pay fullest attention in school and be a 100% nerd...but hack...that wont solve anything cause i realli sick of it...no one understands how i realli feel now...i dont know what i can do now...i just cant catch up no matter what...yet i sometimes do not understand some of the stuffs teachers sae but i just couldnt bring myself to ask...ah fuck la...are we born into this world to suffer...to work and live that life everyday?? Will we ever need to imply our amaths emaths or some other shit in our working life next time? ah fuck la...forget it...2 weeks of fucked up crap and shit...fuck.

2005-07-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Yoyo!! Its been a while since i last write yeah?? Hahas..Hmm..kk i shall start wif my first week at school...first dae tiao kang go sch wif kim moh...hahas...mr kamath den caught me and was sent home to redye..my lao bei super steady sial...made me wait for 4 hrs...But heys, HE HELP ME GET MY HP!!!..SUPER SHIOK ARH!!! HAHAHHAHHS..then for the rest of the days during the week was kinda ok la..slacking...slping...talking to frens...hahas...A maths test coming though...must kee hieong and start studying liao..must pass!! Also just started playing maple story...A quite fun game but too less place to go...hmmm then saturdae went to the 40 hrs forum thingy...although kinda boring i crack up some jokes and made my classmates laugh...den mr luk was lke diaoing me...lolx....Congrats Sze Min =))...Another happie thing was that i became friend wif *peanut* again=)) hahas...nvr thought that would happen though XD...I went to have lunch wif chan and gang...we were lke crapping and stuffs...den chan saw a girl dat looks alike his old tution friend..so he went to ask her if she was joanna...den she say wasnt...so lao kui sial...lol...but it was funni and happie dae la =)) saturdae my family went malaysia and i onli found out during midnight...so crap lor...but for the next 2 daes i stayed at home and chieong my maple story =)) kk write until here le...lets hope this week will be another good 1=))

2005-06-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

School reopen...sians lke siao...fucking mood always get fucked up...dont know y....But seeing her makes me feel veri veri bad...depressed...guilty...i dont know la...but its just so wierd going back to school...things arent the wae i thought it would be...haix....sians...anywaes...holidaes homework are lke alot..and i onli found out that its veri difficult to finish them...haix..school is boring....first dae come school..suay suay tio hair colour...fuck sial...shd have brought a hair spray or sumthing...wasted the whole daes sitting outside the office for nothing..but at least now can get back hp ...=))...haix...write until here le bahx...need to do english newspaper article thingy now...cyax.

2005-06-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

Woooot!!! Went to catch initial D todae...the show was so cool!! The drifting and stuffs were so real lor...haha...went to watch wif yiting, hweemin , shi hui , and sly**....And jay was so cool...although his acting wasnt that good la...hahas...Comfirm have 2nd episode one..hahas...school opening soon...dont even know how to cut my hair...hahas...heng finish a maths liao....if not wont be able to finish all my hw in time...anywae..i gtg...write until here...veri sians...

2005-06-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

Holidaes coming to an end soon le...times passes so fast...still lke got alot of things havent do...lke homework...and stuffs...haha...has an veri wierd dream last night in my sleep...i was a girl in my dreams!! lol...it was kinda dumb la...but yet funny and kinda nice...=P... hmmm...veri tough to make arnd wif frens nowadays..dont know y..but i feel that i have lost alot of frens...haha...Life is really tough..haha...sians...not much to write todae la...i write again some other time...hahas...

2005-06-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

came back quite long from mauritius le...hahas...been a while since i tag...my dad birthdae just passed on the 12th june...hahas..although i was veri sad that dae...i did my best to smile =D...we did not do much...but we all asked him what his birthdae wish was...and to my suprise...his birthdae wish was he wanted me to change to a better son...i wanted to cry...but i kept it inside me...i guess i havent been been a veri good boy nowadays..making my parents worry...making people hate me...haix...i am trying to change...realli hard..but i still have to do my best...just changed my blogskin todae...looks kinda rocking...=))...and the song is nice 2..cant wait for jay to come s'pore!!! hahas...also cant wait to watch initial d=D...

haix...after u left me...i cant smile..i cant do anything...i dont know what to do...but i guess..i deserve all these...i just wish u and shawn...a happie relationship...he wont be another me i guess...cause i am the worse boyfriend any1 would want =)...hahas...

well joyce left for hong kong on tuesday...i vincent and gerald went to send her off...her sister was veri veri cute lor...lke keep jumping about trying to hit my cap...hahas...children are so adorable at times =)...stuck wif my a maths homework...trying hard to do though...guess tution is realli nessecary for me...hahas...

I realli wanna apologies to joalin...for making fun of her all the times...i realli didnt meant what i sae...i was just joking arnd...keep smiling alrite?? hahas..u are always the joyful one arnd when we go out =)

Li fangs if u wanna know anything abt final fantasy or need anything...tell me bahx...i try my best to help u get...or find the info u need...=)

Joyce have fun over there at hong kong...we will all miss u =)...rejection is not the end of the world..keep trying and trying okies? nvr give up=D...if u are ever feeling sad or down...be sure to message me or sumthing okies?? must smile! it takes more muscle to frown than to smile...so rmb to smile more !! =D

Fabienne...Come home quick..lets have our competition again..hahas..

Vincent! Happie birthdae to u!!..15 years old liao...voice still havent crack...hhahas...time to grow up kays?? dont do anything stupid and always think on the positive side..hope the shirt i bought fits u..DONT IRON IT!

Gerald...I see her scolding u now and then..i realli pity u sial...give up la...its not lke...she will love u...her heart is wif ben...u know it urself...come on...wake up...spend more time dota ing..hahas...

Benjamin...got cut fat? hahahs...

To my mei...Yiting...Sorrie i have been so lke quiet nowadays...i lke wanna have peace at times...so i tend to not reply to ur msn messages and stuffs...study hard kays?? Dont always keep thinking abt jia wei( not the bedok south 3D jia wei)...Kor will always be here if u need any help kk??got time ask me out kays? bored lke siao at home..rotting le..hahas..

And to the tigress..Hwee Min...!! hahaha...jkjk...sorrie if i lke nvr write testi for u...realli got no mood la...anywae...hope that u will laugh more lke always..hahas..call me or msg me next time if u need any1 to talk to...best is dont msn message me...i will seldom reply de...

well gtg...been a long dae...any1 who can help me wif a maths pls teach me ='(..thanks !! take care and have a nice holidaes...!!( although its short la)=)keep it in mind that time passes veri fast and nvr be late!!

2005-06-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

yoyo...=D...been a while since i last tag yea?? hahas...I am now at mauricius....kinda cool island...the beach here are super shiok...although the temperature are kinda cold...but i start to lke it here..although i miss my frens and my home and *u...i guess i gotta bear wif it for a few more daes....hahas...i went for fishing and snorkling(dont know how to spell=.=)...fishing is incredible i tell u...its lke every 5 mins 1 fish...lol....i caught arnd 10+ fishes...hahas...den i went for the diving or whatever shit is that...its super scary..lol...the fishes are all arnd...corals reef just below me...lolx...the food here was veri veri attractive la...lolx...i lke wanna think that i want to have a diet...but couldnt resist the temptation...lolx...guess i got a few more kgs le...hahahs...but on the other hand...i went to play bball and stuffs here...hehes...at night...the stars on the skies are so bright and near....and so much...the scenery is veri beautiful....sometimes i just wish i could watch it wif *u....haix...but anywae...i will try to help everyone buy something la...gotta go liaox...cya arnd!!

*i am still waiting. . .

2005-06-02T23:31:00.000-07:00

If onli...

I was there wif her for breakfast...

all these fucking pieces of mother fucking shit wouldnt have happened...

i regretted yet couldnt do anything...

i know...

its veri fucking idiotic of me to always make u wait...

this isnt the first time i am lke that...

i know...

but i realli cared abt u...

loved u...

i wanna change...

everything of myself...

so that i can make u smile...

make u happie again...

i dont know whether u are looking at this or not...

but...

i just wanna tell u...

i am realli sorrie...

chances comes onli once....

i blew it and i couldnt ask for more...

i asked for ur forgiveness...

now i can onli wait for u...

but before u made ur decision....

just wanna tell u....

u are someone...

that is veri important to me...

Our 1st month arnd the corner...

dont know whether i will have the chance to celebrate wif u...

nevertheless...

take care of urself...

2005-05-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

i dont understand why is my whole life so suai...so fucked up....from small till now...i have always been an unlucky piece of shit...things nvr go my way...in relationship..in studies everything!...When i have a stead...i would always get into trouble wif her...or start to quarrel wif her...And my studies...everytime i thought i could do well...i always fucked it up...forget things at exams...AND MY WALLET...i think i lost it for over 4 times already AND I LOSE MINE AGAIN YESTERDAY!!!!!! FUCK IT FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel lke crying....seriously...my maximum tune cards...WHICH IS USED $300 PLUS TO PLAY ALL THE SHIT....MY EZ LINK CARD AGAIN....AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...THE LETTER THAT I LOVED TO SEE THE MOST....(from u know who la)....AND THE PICTURES I KEPT AND LOVED SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK...........

Is this the result of starting to trust in jesus yet lost faith in buddhism....someone help man....T_T

2005-05-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

Haix.....Exams has been sucha blunder...haix...cant belief my english would fail....haix...at least still got a1 for chem and 47/70 for poa...hahas...at least still got something to cheer me up...and of course *you are always there to comfort me...love you alot alotx!!! ^^...my social studies get 14/50!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT MAN...I STUDY LKE FUK...REMEMBER ALL THE POINTS...AND SHE SAES I AM OUT OF THE POINT...IF I LET MRS SHELBA MARK...I CAN GET MUCH HIGHER LOR...fuck sial...all i can do is pray hard that my history will save my ass...=)....haix...todae heard frm mom that my hp bill is 200...which is totally crap shit...its lke i nvr use for 2 weeks and my gprs is 10mb...DOESNT MAKE SENSE...And i think next thursday i gonna die lke mad man....I am gonna try to go wif my mom to collect my hp..den listen to mr kamath sae all the crap...Whoever read this...i make a vow to study hard next semester...i MUST or i surely die and go normal acad or even stay back for a year!!! NOOOOOOOOOO....mr kamath also sae i fail for my e maths paper...haix..but i pass my overall..i damn seh...in the end...i dont know what i can sae to my mom when she sees the results...my june holidae is surely ruined...crapz....my relationship wif *her has gotten veri well...so happie that i could spend time wif her...hahahs...shes one of the person that would always make me feel better and happier after whenever i feel down....arghhh...2mrw gonna eat and play till my stomach explode...before i die and go into hibernation during june holidaes...hahahs...gonna cut fat =)...write until here le bahx...just hope things will be better next week...praying hard ^^

2005-05-15T02:10:00.000-07:00

Wow...i just found out that i nvr write on my blog for over a mth already...LOL...but things have been going well ever since after my bdae....Now that i have her already..i guess i shd reali take time to understand her and love her...must overcome my fear and stuffs...cant always hide lke a turtle in a shell yea? Exams has been veri chia lat...although i had alot of confidence in some of the subjects...but i know my ca1 will pull me all the way down to hell..lolx...next mondae is my last paper...which is also a maths and poa paper 1...gonna be hell manx...a maths will kill and devour me...although i know some of the formulaes...BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO IMPLY IT TO THE QUESTIONS...ARGHHHHH...Dont know y...but i have been doin badly in maths...i guess its must have been me not paying attention in class...haix...after june holidaes...must study hard liaox...haix...my bloody 7610 have been confisicated by miss abraham...*pui*...fucking suai...now have to use 3300 to pass the time..haix...so unfair..other school can bring hp...our school bring hp always veri dangerous 1...fuk la...T_T...haix...sians...think abt this handphone shiet veri pek chek...haix..i goin to slp liao...will write again...T_T

2005-04-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

yeah!! song bo..nat just forgave me todae =) I and chan settled things le..i am finally free of stress =)hahas...hmmm...gonna cut my hair later..hope i can get the hair style i wan...those jap style spiky spiky one^^..hmmm...i wish i can go out wif nat 2mrw...i wanna make it up for her =P

2005-04-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

WaT ShD I Do??
ShD I JuSt Dr3aM Of BeInG WiTh U??
Lo0k At Th3 StAr5 EvErY NiGh+...
In SeArCh Of My AnSwEr?

ShD I JuSt TrY To Be CaLm...
TrY No+ To B3 So ShY...
AnD HoLd Ur Hands?
HoLd U TiGhTlY In My @rMs?
AnD TeLl YoU EvErYdAe...
I Lov3 u.!

I NvR Kn3w HoW AdDiCtIv3 U WeR3...
Th3 SMil3 U nVr FaIl To Sh0w EvErYdA3...
Th3 SpArKlInG ShInNinG 3yeS u HaF..
Th3 BeAuTiFullY PeRFeCt LOoKs U HaF...

I JuSt CoUlDnT TaK3 My Ey3s OfF YoU...

I Lov3 u Nat!

2005-04-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

I guess it isnt a secret anymore...

So I guess i will just sae it out...

I love you natasha...

bleahx

2005-04-11T17:13:00.000-07:00

"Obviously"

Recently I've been,
Hopelessly reaching
Out for this girl,
Who's out of this world.
Believe me.

She's got a boyfriend
He drives me round the bend
Cos he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

But so many nights now
I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no
Never will be good enough for her.

Gotta escape now
Get on a plane now. yeah
Off to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years.

I'll put it behind me(i'll put it behind me)
Go to a place where she cant find me. yeah.

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

She's outta my hands
And I never know where I stand
Cos I'm not good enough for her
He's good enough for her (for her, for her)

'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time
'Cause she'll never be mine
I know i never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her

When will i ever win ur heart...

2005-04-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

this is just so awefully wierd....
who could have spread all these rumours...if onli 1 person know....
Is someone trying to sabo me...

Argh!!~~~~~ FUCK THIS MAN!!!!!!!!........

I just wanna be ur friend..i dont mind loving u silently....i dont mind waiting for u forever...pls...

If all these rumours have hurt u...pls tell me..

2005-04-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

Went to watch the play...Twelth blah blah thingy..couldnt rmb the title...although i couldnt understand much abt their english...i managed to understand a bit about the whole thing...i went to watch it wif nat shawn...and others from literature class....everyone were in their best and they look awesome...One of the person that was most awesomely dao was swee teck..lolx...when i saw him...i said hi and he just ignored me..lolx...But nevertheless...i was veri glad to see natasha...when i saw her i was lke veri nervous and stuffs...words just wouldnt come out of my mouth...haix...everything i tried to do yesterday was ruin by my sensitiveness....jealousy...and because i was nervous...haix...i am just afraid of giving the wrong impression...haix...but anywaes...its was fun being wif her and i was happie in my heart...At night i went to sepang bedok to eat supper wif shawn..we talked abt different different crap...have the urge to buy a pack of cigarettes...but i didnt have enf...so didnt...

I am sho sho stress...i just wanna know the truth..T_T

2005-03-31T00:40:00.000-08:00

Waw...I now then realise then i long time nvr write postings liaos...hahas..hmmmm...these past few daes has been veri stress for me...I find it kinda hard to keep up wif studies at times...arghhh...Plus the sueing and police thingy....i realli stress sial...life have been okok...managed to smile....make people laugh...hahas...but i am realli confused abt a dream i made last time...i wanna look for that girl in my dream.. but her face was so blur..i couldnt remember...haix..tiring sial...sometimes i realli wanna know the truth...but ignorance is blissful...do u love me or not...confused seh....argh.....veri blur blur...well...i gotta go eat my noodle...will write again...buaiz...^^

2005-03-22T02:56:00.000-08:00

i hate u...
the hatred of u in me keep growing..
i nvr realised how B****Y u are now...
i am just too stupid to realised it earlier..

FUCK IT...
FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE!

2005-03-20T01:43:00.000-08:00

I am afraid...
I am afraid of you...
i am not the one u are looking for anymore...
all u cared abt are ur new friends...
i am just a piece of trash...
in ur eyes...
i wanted to watch the stars wif u...i wanted to hold ur hands...
i wanted to sit by the rocks and listen to waves.. wif u...

But who took u away frm me?

him...

i dont know what u want from me...i realli dont know what are u thinking now...
i lost 2 precious things...
but yet i do not give up...
"if we are fated to be together den we shall be"
i rmb those words by hard...

but now...my memory is fading...
those words are nvr meant for me...

i am tired of ur lies...
i am tired of how u treat me...
even as a friend now..
i am just piece of shit to you...

if u realli lke him so much..pls pls...open ur bloody big mouth and just tell me the truth...i am tired of lies...

i wont even be bothered abt all these stuffs...
if i dont loved you...

u seem to lke to haf boys fighting over you...

from the first sight of him...i knew it was trouble...

he took away my precious 1+hr away from me...

leaving me no time to even tell u my problems...

even if i did...u would just avoid me...

i am glad u didnt hear me shouting...

because it wont make a difference....

i am tired of facing problems...

i just want end this once and for all...but whye cant u just let me spend this VERI RARE TIME wif you...after being wif u for 1 year 6 mths...u rather let a new guy have it...

fuck it i tell you...fuck it..

fuck my life...fuck my happiness...

i go on living because i love you and because of the promise i made...

but pls dont give me a hard time...

i am realli stress...

2005-03-20T01:31:00.000-08:00

you dont know the happie side of me...because...

i nvr showed it to you...

i am sorrie...

i wanted to spend the time wif u but i blew my top at you...

i am realli sorrie...

2005-03-20T01:01:00.001-08:00

when i cried after leaving the taxi...

i told u stuffs...

i cried...

i left for the rocks...

what happened?

U left me alone...

u sat wif him...

u went to the rocks wif him...

i disappeared from the crowd...

i suddenly became invisible to ur eyes...

i suddenly because a piece of shit on the ground u didnt saw...fuck it.

2005-03-19T01:28:00.000-08:00

haix...what should i do...i am realli confused...because i loved you...but i cant stand the changes in you...will i have back the same u if we patch up...so mani questions left unsolve in my mind...sometime...i feel realli guilty not giving the others a chance to have you...it realli sucks...but i dont trust any of them...except for some...

you once said that u have this feeling we are fated together....
so do i...but i am losing that feeling....i am realli lost...

i dont want to you to break my heart again...i wanna love you again...arghhs..whatever larhs....let just settle this once and for all todae!!!

Woot!!~~ went to watch movie wif natasha todae...watched the howl's moving castle...although i watched it twice..i still enjoyed it...BUT I FEEL DAMN GUILTY BEING LATE!!! AHHHH!!!! Got so nervous when i got to cine...waited for my dad to passed me money..and thought abt what to sae...but nth came to my mind...lolx...so in the end...i said nth much...fuk it...i wore a stupid shirt todae...made me look foolish! its lke..i ruined the whole outing...arghs....dont even think she forgave me for what i did...T_T...alamaks....
(Nat:sorrie sorrie..i realli didnt mean to be late...and i will try to be more serious next time..although i am not sure what it means...hahas...hoping that there will be a next time...-.-")

Bought nokia 7610 todae...so groovy and cool!!^^

2005-03-17T11:57:00.000-08:00

IF i were to give u my arms..
i would rather cook it and feed the dogs...
IF i were to give u my eyes balls...
i were tear them into pieces and feed the fishes..
IF i were to give u my skin..
i would bbq and make bbq pork to eat...
IF i were to give u my kidneys...
i would let the pigs have it instead...
IF i were to give u money...
I would burn them and throw the ashes at ur face...
IF i were to give u my heart..
I shall pierce it wif a rusty piece of metal...
SO U SHALL NVR GET MY LOVE!
BITCH!

2005-03-17T11:49:00.000-08:00

u snd lke a fucking chee hong bitch

2005-03-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

waw....
till now u still ignoring me yea twinnie?
haix...take care of urself....maybe i was abit too rude that time..my apologies...

Weee!..todae gonna watch spongebob movie...but no one to go wif..haix...

//Mei chin: whats ur blog?

2005-03-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

the last thing i would wanna do...
is to fulfil the promise i made wif you...
but i just cant watch you get from worse to worse..
even now i am worried abt ur studies...
will i drive u to work in cna..
or to macdonalds?

U may always deny u nvr change..
But even when i am ur god bro...
the changes wif u and now is so different...
But heys..
its ain't my problem anymore...the more i care..
the more we quarrel..
the more u ignore me...

i am just sick and tired of all these issues...

just stab me in my eyes so i cant see any shit u do..

*worries worries worries*

can jus stop ignoring me!?????? ARGHHHHHHHHHX!!!!!!!...

2005-03-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

I feel realli fucked up after what i did...

I am not expecting u to forgive me....

but at least blame me or something...

tell me what are u angri wif...

2005-03-14T04:52:00.000-08:00

Waw si bei sians arhs...charms went malaysia for 2 daes le...miss her alotx sial..hahahs...anywae..todae went to the it fair at suntec...my dad bought me a handheld computer which i am using now^^...and also bought me a panasonic lumix camera...wahhhas...happie lke siaos!!~~ But haix...supposed to be a special day todae..bbut u are not in singapore to be wif me T_T...haix..Thanks emilly! for lendimg me the ps2! its was great...Sorrie arhs joyce...couldnt stay too late wif u all that dae...waw...si bei tired liaox....wanna slp liaox..zzz...buaiz!~

2005-03-11T21:48:00.000-08:00

Yoyo!!~~ Happie holidaes to everyone!! Hope will have a nice holidaes!! the first thing i gonna do is to dye my hair...wahahah!!~~ hehehs...Anywaes...Term one has been great for me!!~~...WIf u funky people in my school i got to smile and get through my problems!! Waw...My computer still cant be fixed...anyone who can help me???

Charms: Heys guess u are going to m'sia 2mrw...hmmms...gonna miss ya....hahahs...although i have alot of questions unsolved abt u...but heys! u made me happie alritex!!~~ Lurve ya!!~~ Twins yea? hahahs...Will be waiting for ur yes^^...Buaiz!!~~ HAve fun and Take Care!!

Natasha!! Hey hey!! I forgot to tell u i changed email..ahhahs...my new email is jeff7490@hotmail.com...anywaes...thanks for being my fren for the past 10 weeks!!Although alot of unhappie events happened...we managed to help each other through the bad times...Thanks!! Friends are forever!!~~

Joycelyn!! Heys...take care alritex! dont get so stress in ur relationship and stuffs..rmb to study hard and remember to treat mr ChEW veri well kk?? Although i seldom get to talk to you...but heyx...i am glad we are good frens now...hmmm have a nice holidaes mrs ang!!! buaiz!!! Have fun!

Gerrald!!! Heyx...go to the gym and build up some muscles dude...!! cant wait to see u carrying me next time instead..whahahaha....anywae..have a nice holidae...See u soon!! hahahas

hmm i will write for the others soon!!! My com spoiling again!! ARHXXX

2005-03-09T06:27:00.000-08:00

Do u lurve me?

Still a big question mark in my head....

Anywaes i lurve you lke mad nowx.!!

2005-03-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

Chan...What the fuck u want from me.

U played wif my sister's feeling....

u ruin my life again and again...

what the fuck do u want...

u said u wanted to help me get back charmaine...

u made things worse and worse...

u made me cry thinking abt my sister...

i dont know what u want...

what else do u want to take away from me.

2005-03-08T21:04:00.000-08:00

I felt veri hurt when i saw ur blog...
I seriously think...
there is no point in asking u this question anymore...
"do u lke me?"
cause i already know the answer....

ur journal was all abt him..

WA FUCK...i musnt cry...hahahs....

i dont wish to know anything already...my fucking life sux....
must we have this ending....

2005-03-07T17:09:00.000-08:00

tired of finding the answer to my questions...cant u just tell me whether u lurve me anotx? i dont wanna lie to myself anymore.

2005-03-07T17:08:00.000-08:00

tired of trying to find out whether u love me anotx...can u just tell me the truth...i dont wanna lie to myself again.

2005-03-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

thanks natasha...u are the onli one who realli understands what i am going through...
thanks for giving my joy and happiness everydae...
thanks for everything...
And always remember to smilex ^^...
hope we will always be the best of friends=]

2005-03-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

I nvr wanted to hurt you...
all i want is 2 make u avoid another mistake in life...
u can hate me all u wan...
i have already tried my best...
i dont want u to have the same ending lke my sister...

2005-03-06T17:09:00.000-08:00

Everyday i live in hopes of being wif you...to find out that...i am just a fool...the person u realli loved isnt me...its him...ahhahhahas....to think that i still think that u lurved me...but it was just me lying to myself...all i just wanna know now is...will we ever be together?

For the past few daes...i thought veri hard abt my promises and stuffs to you...i think and think onli to find one reason why i kept them...its because i wanted to be wif you...

But i guess that wont be the results i will be getting i guess...sometimes i just feel lke breaking my promise..forget everything abt you...to tell u the truth...i tried.

But it just didnt worked...

When i asked u that question...it sounded pretty convincing that u wanted to be wif me...but heys...maybe thats wat u wanted to hear from chan not me...maybe u were msging the wrong person...whatever it was...its just wasnt me in ur mind...

i think its no point living in my stupid dreams...its no point planning for rel's birthdae...all my plan will be spoiled eventually...

when i care for you...u sae i ctrl you...when i dont care for you...u want me to care for you...what is it that u want?

do u want me to just take a knife stab it in my eyes so i dont know anything u do and i wont be a nuisance?

or do u want me to be the nicest person and care for you?

do u want him or me?

She said we were meant to be together...
i believed her...
do you?

U were realli stubborn at times...
even though u know its painful...
but u still go on...take more pain and hurt inside you...
and there is when i come in...
getting angri...
trying to change ur mind...
trying to see that smile of urs again...

i always nvr failed to cheer people up...
but why must it be you that is the hardest to smile?

i am sucha a fool...i realli am...lying to myself..
backstabbing myself...
making plastic smiles...

i am starting to realli hate this world...fuck...
cant be bothered abt ur business anymore...

sick and tired**

2005-03-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHS!!!!!!!

Haix...
U dont trust me at all...
I dont know what to do...
or what to sae...
u keep thinking that i will affect ur studies...
u just dont trust me to be wif u...
why is that...
when i asked u that question...
u give me shit answers!?
what do u realli want?
So what if i lurve you?
SO what if i wanna wait for you?
Do u appreciate?
Why cant u give me a chance...
to prove myself?
ARGHHHHHHS!!!!!!!!

Life sucks life sucks life sucks life suck life sucks...
fucking pissed....

stupid idiots making pranks calls...
get scared after getting threatened abt me...

waited for ur stupid msg the whole dae...
but still nth...
this is totally stupid mans...stupid...
i lurve u u lurve me...
whats the problem now.

2005-03-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

whoa...havent been writing on my blog for quite a long time...firstly...i wanna thank vanessa and melise for the support...Hope i wont have stage fright on that dae -.-" well...have been accused of taking her as a subsitute...which i realli didnt...i dont know larhs..but i am sick and tired of being in lurve...Lke what joyce had told me studies are more important...i agree mans^^...Haix...didnt do well in my exams....dont dare to tell my parents...realli wish i can hui dao guo qu...haix....

**love hurtx**

i will write again ~~!!

2005-02-24T06:20:00.000-08:00

ahahahs...i going for my school talentime show (aka BDS idol)...Dont know whether i sing nice anotx...kinda worried...i failed my chinese sial...veri veri sad...but yeahs...gotta study harder for midyear...Might be singing an jing or even wu ding wif joycelyn^^...Hoping that everything is going well^^...kinda stress over HER nowadays....wonder if she still lkes me...But yeahs...we seldom talk and stuffs now...Maybe we are realli nvr meant to be together....but hoping that i can someone to love this year...someone to hold tightly in my arms...Someone who would watch the stars wif me...Hoping that its you again....

[ Nvr Meant To Be ]

2005-02-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

Are we nvr meant to be together???

Do I stand anywhere in ur heart???

Shd I keep on dreaming???

Or is it time for me to wake up??

Confused by what u write everday...

But just nvr had the courage to ask you...

Afraid of hurting you...

Afraid of being a jerk once again...

Are we realli nvr meant to be together??

When will i feel ur lips again??

When will i hold ur hands tightly...

and tell myself nvr to let you go?

Is this all just the past??

Are these all just fairytales now??

Are we realli realli nvr meanr to be together??

Everydae i held onto my phone..

waiting and waiting...

for that beautiful voice of yours...

beautiful phrases that u sae...

wonderful vocabulary that u use...

But i guess i wont have english lessons anymore...

i guess....

We are realli nvr meant to..

be...

2gether anymore...

time for me to wake up...

time for me to walk away...

time for me to let you go...

because i love you...

[ Qu3s+ion5 NvR M3aN+ To Kn0w Th3 An5w3r ]

2005-02-22T03:56:00.000-08:00

Are we nvr meant to be together???

Its the ending we realli must have???

Confused and troubled what u write everyday....

shd i just wake up and face the truth???

What am i in ur heart??

Do i stand anywae in ur heart??

2005-02-17T01:39:00.000-08:00

Tired of persisting...
Tired of trying to help you...
time for me to rest...
time for you to go on your own...
I wont be around to help u anymore...
all i hope is u do well is ur studies...
for so long...
i cared for u...
i loved you..
but now the things i feared the most happened...
Deeply upset and hurt...
i try to heal myself by letting you go...
just forget all abt me...
just treat me lke a nightmare...
treat it lke i nvr exsisted...
Everything i dreamt for are now pieces of glass shattered among the ground...
i shd have held tightly to that glass...
i shd have treasure it...
But i just let it slipped off my hands...
I hope u will be happie wif ur new life...
I hope u will find a good boyfriend...
I hope i will see you on tv...
take care...

Yox Charms!!~~

2005-02-15T03:29:00.000-08:00

Heyx..i think i get what u mean le...and i know the person isnt him...u know who i refering to larhs...but heyx...whoever the person is..he mus be veri lucky yeahs? anywaes...cheer up...dont slack just because ur english and lit isnt good...mus keep trying yeah? okies okies?? erms...if u need a listening ear..i will always be here okies?? talk to me more kays?? miss talking to u..hahas...

Fuck man..todae tio pao toh by marc and vincent...chee bye..u 2 watch out...thurday must stay back for detention...arhs!!!!~~~ sad arhs....

~*~Hoping that the person is me~*~ =P

Heyx!!~~

2005-02-15T00:41:00.000-08:00

Hellox!!~~ please add me here!!~~ Thanks!!~~

I am right here waiting for you//

~**~** [ Nvr Meant To Be ] **~**~

**** [ Qu3s+ion5 NvR M3aN+ To Kn0w Th3 An5w3r ] ****

Yox Charms!!~~

Heyx!!~~

[ Nvr Meant To Be ]

[ Qu3s+ion5 NvR M3aN+ To Kn0w Th3 An5w3r ]